I'd just like to issue a blanket statement to all my customers today: SHUT UP!!!

I don't want to hear about your husband cheating on you and you getting the house and then considering taking him back because we all screw up sometimes.

I don't want to hear about your invasive dental procedures and your opinions on insurance and dental costs, even less so if you adopt that ridiculous know-it-all tone.

I don't want to hear about your husband's debt.

I don't want to hear about your sunburn because of antibiotics and your grandma's warnings about it.

I ESPECIALLY don't want to hear about your pap smear.

What is it about today that makes people feel the need to share their most intimate details with the people at the bank? It's not a full moon...that's over. There must be someting in the air. I'll be exceedingly happy when it passes.

It's a good thing I leave for two weeks of vacation tomorrow.

Out

So, I got an envelope in the night drop this morning that was all kinds of wonky. There were deposits and payments and withdrawals and neither rhyme nor reason to any of it...Needless to say, I was confused.

So, I looked up the customer's phone number and work number. It was only 7:30, so I figured no one would want a phone call from the bank THAT early. I waited and worked on stuff...and at 9:15 I called the home number.

"I'm sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected."

Hmm...I hoped the work number was correct. I dialed.

"Central Steel."
"Umm...I'm looking for [name]."
There was silence on the other line.
Then, "Ummm...there's no one...what is this regarding? Where are you calling from?"
"I'm calling from a bank, trying to get a hold of her."
"Oh, let me connect you to HR."

And the hold music is Air Supply's "All Out Of Love."

And now it's stuck in my head.

That's really the blog I wanted to post. I'm sure you'll wonder what happened, though.

Apparently she didn't work there. So...wrong number? Old number? No idea.

I was at a loss. What the heck would I do if I couldn't get a hold of her? Would I mail it back? What if they'd moved? Could I email? Would they get it? I can't just hold on to it! Could I drive it to their house? I had their address...

And Nancy looks at me and says, "Try the phone book."

Duh. In the storm of technology and computer files, I forgot the phone book. That little book gets no love anymore...and it's not like I can help it, because "I'm all outta love."

Out